Sunday, June 9, 2013

He Remembered Me


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I was so enthusiastic to see Sri Sri last time that I couldn't wait to see him again. I heard that he was coming in the month of April for a week-long course so I made sure to be there. It didn't matter what I would experience, just wanted to be near him. As I was leaving for the course, I noticed my old purple hat. I had it with me for ages and while I thought it looked ridiculous on me, I still picked it up on an instinct and stuffed it in my suitcase. I was now ready to go.
During the entire course, I made sure that I sat in the front row, looking my feminine best. My hair were kept down and my dresses were long and silky. Nothing unusual happened and I was just happy to be there feeling peaceful. On the day we were leaving, a group of people surrounded Sri Sri. He was answering as many questions as he could, but they seemed to be many more still. Realizing that it would take a long time, I decided to change into a nice travelling dress. When I got upstairs I noticed my big, floppy, purple hat on the chair and a mischievous idea popped in my head. I thought that I would put on my black motorcycle jacket, black pants, my purple hat and play a joke on Sri Sri and he would never recognize me.
So I pulled my hair up, put some unusual bright make-up on, topping with big black sun- glasses. I looked completely different. I went downstairs and headed straight for the hall where Sri Sri was still talking to people. I moved in closer strategically and prepared myself thinking that I would jump in front of him, pull my hat off and jokingly say, "It's me Sri Sri! Do you remember me?"
The thought hardly left my mind and I found myself doing just the same. I dramatically pulled off my hat, bowed and cheerfully said, "Sri Sri! It's me! Do you recognize me?" He glanced at me blankly and seemed preoccupied with someone else. My timing appeared completely off and I felt silly for it wasn't very funny rather just another stupid idea. I stood there holding my purple hat, feeling like an idiot, when I felt a deep emotion welling up in my throat. I began to cry while humiliation, which is my deepest fear began to resurface. As I closed my eyes, I heard my frightened self say, "All my life, I've been afraid that God would forget me. The trumpets would blow, the chariot would come, and somehow I would miss the boat. I'd fail again, only this time irreparably."
I don't remember how long I stood there, but when I opened my eyes, I noticed that Sri Sri was just leaving with someone. As he moved away from me, he unexpectedly turned his head and looked straight in my direction, projecting softly. "I would recognize you in any form!" he confirmed. "You are my very Self." Then he quickly turned and left. I closed my eyes again, feeling completely loved and taken care of as if a deep wound had been healed and I felt whole again. I pulled on my magical purple hat, the big black sunglasses and skipped away joyously, like a child. "God remembered me. And He always would."

Jai Gurudev!


Dvorahji Dvorah Adler


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